Looking On

My classmates are all getting busy for their thesis. They'll be having their defense come this Wednesday, September 24. That's the day before my mom's birthday. I don't even have the faintest idea as to what I should give her. X_x ...and I am plagued by the question, "Should I make an effort to give her something?". Judging by our most recent brawl this morning (like 3 hours earlier), I think it'll be too awkward to be mushy with her yet. Urgh... I was never programmed to easily make apologies towards family members. I can't even pretend to actually MEAN the gesture. It's easier to fake it with friends. Because in the status of camaraderie, being ingenuine is an understandable trait. And although we see through that, we understand (as an unspoken agreement) that the gesture alone (be it real or feigned) is something that takes a lot of guts to do. And so we see the authenticity behind the obvious farcity.

Anyway, the thesis defense schedules start next week. And I'll be the only senior student (that I know of) who'll be left behind. After their defense, they're bound to graduate and move on to their job-seeking and hopefully-professional lives. The thought that I wont be with people like them (whom I've become so accustomed to be with for the past 3 to 4 years) come lunchtime or whenever I have time to slack around or chill out.

I cant bear the thought of getting through college without the people whom I used to spending it with.